


with love, missy

by undodgedbullet



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: June Song, Missy's really sad i'm sorry, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 16:43:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19467991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undodgedbullet/pseuds/undodgedbullet
Summary: In twenty-first century vaults we write letters, we write letters.





	with love, missy

_Dearest River,_

_I know you’re never going to see this but I have been informed that writing down one’s feelings is better than just holding them all in, so I suppose this is what I’m doing now._

_June came to see me today. She comes to see me a lot, but it’s still never enough. I don’t know when I started experiencing things like ‘emotions’ but I struggle not to tear up every time my eyes land on her. She’s twenty-four now. I don’t know how she grew up so quickly, it seems like just yesterday we were reading her bedtime stories and trying to get her to eat her vegetables._

_She misses you. So does the Doctor._ ~~_So d_ ~~

_Feel free to return to us whenever you’re ready._

_Missy_

* * *

_River,_

_I got a piano today! The Doctor feels bad about keeping me locked up (long story short, I now have to stay imprisoned in a vault for a thousand years as the Doctor keeps guard... it’s probably better if you don’t ask) so he’s started allowing me to give him lists of things I want him to get me. I hadn’t requested the piano but this morning, he and Nardole rolled it in. It’s odd to think about how I’m getting excited over a musical instrument from Earth of all things but it appears this is my life now._

_I played a few songs. It reminded me of when we were all on Darillium, when June would beg me to play or for the Doctor to play that ridiculous guitar of his. Things seemed so much easier back then._

_Thinking of you,_ ~~_as always._ ~~

_Missy_

* * *

_To River,_

_I had a dream about you. (I know I don’t need to sleep but there’s not much else to do in this vault.)_

_We had a picnic, it was almost disgustingly domestic. You know I hate domesticity, but it was better with you there._ ~~_You somehow always made everything better._~~ _I don’t quite remember the details but there was a lot of laughter. It felt good to be able to finally hold you again, even if it was only in my subconscious. Perhaps I should start sleeping more, if it means I’ll get to see you._

_Do you still dream, even while you’re dead?_

_Missy_

* * *

_River,_

_This probably isn’t news to you, but I’m going to kill the Doctor._ ~~_He’s probably going to see this at some point and take away my book privileges or something because I’m supposed to be improving._~~ _I know he thinks he’s just trying to help me but I cannot deal with the constant reminder that you’re_ ~~_dead_ ~~ _~~gone~~_ _away. I know he’s sad too but if I have to think about you ever again my hearts are going to break. I’m tired of you being a ghost._

_Please come back soon._ ~~_I love you._~~

_Missy_

* * *

_River,_

_Today was the Earth holiday known as “Mother’s Day” so June came in with two cards, one for me and one for the Doctor._ ~~_There should’ve been one for you too._~~ _She also brought chocolate and flowers, so the Doctor went and got a vase to put them in. We’re keeping them on the top of the piano. They’re very pretty._

_I always forget how much June resembles you until I see her. The eyes, nose, hair, it’s all the same. I miss her; she does come to see me often but it’s still not enough. It’s okay, she has things to do._

_She hopes you’d be proud of her but I_ **_know_ ** _you would be._

_Patiently awaiting your return,_

_Missy_

* * *

~~_River,_ ~~

~~_I wish I had told you I love you when I had the chance. I had thought for so long that I was merely incapable of loving someone but then you came along and turned my life completely upside down. There were so many times where I wanted to say it but just couldn’t. The Doctor has tried to tell me that you knew and I really hope you did since you always seemed to know what my own feelings were before I did but I don’t know. I’ll never know, now, and you’ll never hear it from me either._ ~~

~~_I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me someday._ ~~

~~_Missy_ ~~

* * *

_Dear River,_

_The Doctor wanted me to make a list of all the things I miss about you (he said it’s not “good to keep my emotions bottled up” or something like that, but since when did he even know anything about communicating his feelings?):_

_I miss the way your hair shone in the sunlight. I miss the way your eyes crinkled whenever you laughed. I miss the way your hand fit in mine._

_I miss the way you were annoyed by everything in the mornings, I miss my hearts not hurting every time I think about you, I miss being a family._

_I miss you._

_Missy_

* * *

_My darling River,_

_Lately, I’ve been thinking about the first few times we ever met. When we convinced ourselves we didn’t like each other but we kept finding each other. At the time, I was annoyed,_ ~~_probably because I was already falling in love with you,_~~ _but by the time we had bumped into each other a few times you were already starting to grow on me. I don’t believe in fate_ ~~_because that would mean your death was always inevitable_ ~~ _but sometimes it makes me think it was meant to be._

_I hope the days you aren’t having are as good as the days you lived._

_Missy_

* * *

_River,_

_I’m sure you know the significance ‘The Time Traveler’s Wife’ has to the Doctor. He brings me books sometimes and yesterday, he brought me a copy. (We both know how much of a sap he can be. June told me he still keeps multiple copies in the TARDIS.)_

_I’ve been reading it today and it did help a bit. Obviously, it reminded me of you_ ~~_not that it takes much for things to make me think of you these days_ ~~ _and it was enjoyable enough._

_It was a good tale, but I think I prefer ours. Maybe one day you’ll come back and our ending will be happier than the one in the book._

_Return to us so we can finish our story._

_Missy_

* * *

_Dear River,_

_There’s so much I need to say to you but there’s no way to do it. If I had been better about telling you the things I felt then I wouldn’t be having this problem, but we both know I’m incompetent when it comes to intimacy. Whatever you’re doing now, I hope you feel everything I never said. I don’t think I’d be able to bear it if you couldn’t._

_Nothing’s the same without you. It’s selfish but I just want you back. Nothing compares to your kisses. Hurry up and get out of the library, it’s too difficult when you’re not here, and we all would do anything to see you again._

_With love,_

_Missy_


End file.
